Reading the room without mind-reading
This guide is about patterns, not judging every individual.
1. Green flags (good signs)
Look for attorneys who:
- Ask to see documents and timelines before giving strong opinions
- Admit when something is uncertain or complex
- Avoid insulting other homeowners (“people just don’t pay,” etc.)
- Explain things in plain language without making you feel stupid
- Respect your boundaries and don’t pressure you to sign immediately
Simple inner test:
“Do I feel more grounded after talking to them, or more scrambled?”
2. Red flags (warning signs)
Warning signs can include:
- “We guarantee we’ll save your home” or any guarantee of outcome
- Refusal to answer basic questions about fees or process
- Mocking or dismissing questions about service, assignments, or timelines without even looking at your facts
- Pressure to sign a retainer right now with lines like “if you wait, it’ll be too late,” without explaining your actual deadlines
- Making you feel ashamed for past decisions rather than focusing on what’s possible now
One big red flag:
“You don’t need to worry about any of that, just let me handle it,”
said before they’ve even reviewed what you brought.
3. Mixed flags (use your judgment)
Some attorneys:
- Are blunt but brilliant.
- Are warm but disorganized.
You’re looking for a workable mix of:
- Competence
- Respect
- Realism
If you leave thinking:
“This person sees the patterns and respects that I’ve done work, even if they can’t promise results,”
…that’s more important than liking their personality 10/10.
4. What to do when you see red flags
You can simply:
- Say: “Thank you for your time; I need to think about everything we discussed.”
- Take your documents and leave.
- Write a private note: what felt off, what was said, what you want to avoid next time.
You do not owe anyone instant commitment just because they’re a lawyer.